POSSIBLE CAKE COMBUSTION AHEAD!
Proceed with CAUTION...
Hot messes happen in every kitchen (and every life), but with some good planning, careful timing, patience, and a good recipe, we can avoid most of them. In hot messes you get burned, have to spend time cleaning up after them, and in general don’t have a great time. In fact, I couldn't help but cover this bad-tasting topic, as this is very common when designing your life cake recipe.
It all starts out great - The cake is smelling luscious, it’s been warming in the oven for the appropriate time…before you know it, it’s time to take it out. Ahh, the aroma of the moist sweet goodness of the special unique blend of ingredients you've created is so enticing; the thought of devouring it takes your very breath away. Yum.
But wait; hold on a second. Deep in your heart of hearts you want more. You’re not satisfied. You still desire the sweetness of a delicate frosting for your cake, with the perfect peaks and just the right consistency, right? You rush out and find a perfect flavor and immediately start taking huge spoonfuls and slapping them on your precious Cake…
Then it happens! What appeared to be so perfect became a huge Hot Mess, with huge parts of your life cake being over taken by this gooey melted mess. You cannot frost a hot cake with icing and expect a good result. So how can you avoid this hot mess?
Be careful not to apply your frosting too early or too much at once. When baking up a sweet cake life, speed is not your friend. Patience is. Being in a hurry can ruin the overall taste and appearance of your life cake, not to mention any chances of removing it without having to remake part (if not all) of the cake. Proceed with caution. You have worked hard to bake your sweet life cake. The last thing you want to do is ruin it with the wrong frosting or slap it on too soon.
Acting too swiftly can only cause your beautiful cake to melt into a big hot mess and that's what can happen if you rush out with your newfound sense of self worth. It can get lost again very easily because it hasn't had time to become a natural part of who you are. There is no rush. Give yourself time to cool.
Here is a proven theory when meeting someone new! Try this, it works.
Nine Month Rule~
A good friend of mine, John Bowman, is a true Cake Life Designer. He has shared many pearls of wisdom with me regarding the subject; in fact, he went through a divorce and committed to living 3 years of solitude before dating again. He had really been burned!
I have learned a great deal from John and by knowing him, I actually have faith that these types of men do exist. They too are looking for “forever.” John states that you need to know someone for at least 9 months as friends before ever deciding on a true relationship. During this time, each of you can get to know the other without trying to impress for the acceptance of “dating.” When this is allowed, people can feel free to truly be themselves without worry. If a love connection is inevitable, then by all means GREAT, if not, then the friendship can continue as the awkwardness of getting involved on a level that wasn’t going to last is eliminated. I have started this practice and have found some amazing friends. In my former life, they might have become boyfriends, then been gone. This way, I have long-lasting friendships. Also, I have avoided the un-necessary heartbreak associated with jumping in too soon and finding out it was only a crush. No more hot messes for me!
I hope today’s blog helps you recognize the value of the patience that is required to master this life cake design. Do not try to add frosting to your cake before it’s ready. Let your new cake life sit a while, become stable, and ready to accept frosting. Only then will the cake be enhanced by the frosting, and not ruined by it.
And remember: The sweetest experiences in life are those that 'just happen' to us. Those are truly special moments and they can create everlasting flavor for many years to come – even a lifetime.
So stay away from hot messes, don’t get burned, and join me next time as I share: Am I Ready, Lonely, or Just Plain Insecure?
Bon appetite and cool cooking for now,
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Life is meant to be sweet- a little savory and peppery now and then, but basically sweet and enjoyable! However, as we all get so wrapped up in the day’s tasks, errands, and chores, instead of a joy, life becomes a balancing act and if not handled properly can be a very stressful existence. If you’ve ever seen a juggler drop something, you know what it feels like. Trying to juggle too much and sometimes ‘dropping the ball’ can lead to frustration and low self-esteem. That’s not sweet!
Double juggle, toil and trouble~
Your life may very often feel as though you’re not only juggling, but you’re juggling chain saws, sharp knives, or delicate eggs. Let’s talk about it – maybe we can stop the madness. Or at least learn how to juggle more effectively. It is balance that we strive to achieve. Like a good nutritious balanced diet, that’s what we want in our lives.
“My boss wants me to work late, but my son has a game and I just can’t miss it. Again. What should I do?”
“My mom tells me she needs my help this weekend, but the laundry is piled high and the lawn needs mowing. Can I disappoint her? Again?”
“My spiritual life is sorely lacking, but who has time to attend church on Sunday? That’s my day to sleep in a bit, I feel so guilty when I miss.”
“My social and dating life is non-existent, but who has time to get to know someone new. Better to stick with the one I know, even if it isn’t exactly what I want for my life.” Or better yet, “Avoid the whole dating scene because of the distraction it may cause and add, yet another ingredient to juggle.”
“I cannot stick to a budget! There’s always too much month left at the end of the money, but great clothes are important to my image. Right? Even if I run up my credit card or even skip a payment now and then.”
The answer to all these questions is the same.
Questions, questions, questions. Life today is definitely a complex juggling act, and in spite of the fact that we keep dropping things, even things that are very important, we not only keep trying to do it all, we keep adding things because it makes us feel bad to say “No!”
It’s all about prioritizing. I have found that there are many things I treat as a priority that actually are not. Balance is something we must figure out, however this has probably been the most challenging struggle of my own Cake Recipe design.
After years of struggling with this balancing act of life, I have discovered there is a method and a way to achieve this. It can be done.
First, make a list of all your time-sucking activities – don’t leave anything out (some examples are housework, lawn/pool care, kids’ activities, social life, church, meditation, or spiritual time, shopping, work, family obligations, errands). Some of these activities will make you smile, taste good, and are truly priorities. Others may not taste so good and can either be discarded or maybe delegated to others. You do not have to do it all.
Important point: If your life is in balance, and you have your priorities straight, you do NOT have to tolerate less than stellar friends or partners.
Once you have selected the right ingredients and eliminated the ones that don’t taste good or aren’t healthy for you, the following ideas have helped me to stay on track with ease and comfort. And in a moment, I will reveal the secret I found to keep my life stabilized and tasting good. But first...
1. Become a decider – making decisions and choosing your life ingredients is key. Don’t waffle – you can make adjustments later, but right now you must decide what’s important to you.
2. You have your list, now put them in order of priority.
3. Be consistent with your daily routine – try to stick to a schedule and make a habit of what’s important. This will become easier as you go along but stability depends on consistency and structure.
4. Study how creatures of habit do better with this method than those who crave or are drawn to chaos. A chaotic life is rarely a successful one. Just like a crazy concoction of random ingredients won’t make a good cake. Baking requires some careful thought about ingredients, a method to the madness, and a great recipe!
5. Set a steady pace – remember the tortoise who won the race? If things begin to feel too rushed and verging on chaos again, adjust the recipe. Slow and steady beats helter skelter every time.
Time to reveal the secret!
I actually found the secret to all of this craziness and the only way I have discovered that keeps me grounded and balanced. It is the greatest stabilizer of all! What is this amazing stabilizer?
It’s not complicated – you don’t have to look in the gourmet aisle or search for some out-of-the-way specialty store with high-priced ingredients. The one and only almighty powerful source of love…GOD! Yes, it’s that true and that simple. Until I added this ingredient to my Cake Life recipe, and made it the center which all other ingredients swirl around, my life was a mess! Yes, a huge mess! It took me several months to realize this, however, going back and forth from old patterns that were not working I discovered my path was always effortless when I consistently connected with God. Adding this special ingredient finally made it all make sense. Keeping God the center of all things has been my answer to a long-suffered question of life.
As God at the center of your mixing bowl, everything stays in perfect balance and balance leads to a sweet life.
Your spiritual life may be different from mine –Perhaps you enjoy attending church on Sunday; perhaps you prefer Wednesday night or Saturday temple. Maybe you will discover a vastly different spiritual pathway that serves to guide and inspire you. I have discovered a constant awareness of the Power associated with my connection makes all of the difference in my day to day choices and attitude towards whatever comes along. It has become such a part of my thought process that I am unconsciously in tune all day every day. Peace resides when the awareness of my spiritual connection is present… I have made it a habit and it has changed my life.
Whatever your spiritual and/or religious pathway, I urge you to give this crucial element some deep thought, study, and exploration, because without a spiritual center, your recipe will never be all it could be. It will lack what bakers call a stabilizer – the thing that makes all the other ingredients work together.
So that’s it for now. You have your homework assignment!
Next time, please stop by as I plan to talk about what it feels like to want to frost your cake before it’s ready.
The blog will be titled: A Hot Mess!
Bon appetite and vaya con dios for now,
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Today I want to talk with you about making the decision to change your life or the areas of your life that need some help, maybe in the form of sugar or spice…
The first question is: Where does one begin, right? For starters, follow these simple steps and you’ll be on your way to whipping up your perfect batter before you know it:
Step 1: Clear out the Clutter!
There’s nothing harder than cooking in a kitchen that is overrun with clutter. The countertops are filled with leftovers, long-expired products, dirty dishes, junk mail, and all manner of stuff you don’t need. You feel compelled to clean up the clutter and create a clear workspace before whipping up your tasty masterpiece.
The same theory applies when preparing to create your own sweet life recipe. If you want the task to go smoothly, you have to remove those old expired ingredients, spoiled ones, and even the ones that just don’t fit with the rest of your ingredients. Keep only the things that will mix well with your vision of a beautiful cake.
Now the deck is cleared and you can move forward with confidence and concentrate on what’s important.
Things to get rid of: Bad memories, old grudges, hurt feelings, and most of all, the habits you know contribute to a lumpy batter or a sour taste. Take a good long look at your inner “pantry” and clear out the clutter. Then congratulate yourself, smile; you are ready to cook up something wonderful!
Step 2: Make a List and Check it Twice!
This is a fun list – a list of things that make you smile and give you “the warm fuzzies.” Think about those pictures of cute animals on Facebook that always make you smile, or an author that inspires you. Perhaps it’s Bible quotes or quotations from your favorite Guru or teacher. Is it a hug from your favorite aunt? A kiss from a special child? A ‘thank you’ note from a client telling you how great you are? Whatever it is, write it down.
Here are some examples of good things I found that I love in my life…
Good, stable friendships with people who share my vision and positive outlook on life and future.
I love to be inspired by listening to and reading books that address any type of motivation or inspiration.
I go to church and find it inspirational.
I am learning to play golf and find it relaxing; golf courses are beautiful places to spend an afternoon.
I love to mentor others to follow their bliss by writing blogs and producing videos.
Just to name a few.
My life is getting so full of good things, bad stuff has a hard time creeping in. There’s just no room!
Step 3: Make Another List...
This is a different kind of list – a list of things that really bug you. Drop the guilt for even mentioning these petty things. Hint..... These are the things that make you feel bad, angry, sad, insecure... Let's face it, these feelings remove us from the peace that we all desire to feel. This is an assignment so it’s okay to go there for a bit; it’s necessary in order to recognize so that they may be addressed. This list might include things about yourself you’re not happy with (a bad habit like biting your nails or smoking, for example, or your quick temper). No one’s perfect, we all have faults, so it’s time to make an honest assessment. Does your hairdresser continuously refuse to follow your instructions, yet you give her a big tip anyway? Maybe it’s time to change your style of expression, your inability to stand up for yourself, or your hairdresser.
Other things that might land on your list are spending too much time with habitually negative people, watching too much negative television; crime, murder, and news. Do you harbor negative opinions about others and judge them harshly for their individual choices? Write it down! Maybe you overindulge in food (do you super-size anything?) or drink too much? Write that down. It needs to change. Are you a shopaholic, run up your credit cards, or fail to pay your bills on time? These are some of the things that I recognized about myself and my own life habits when I started designing my cake life recipe.
Now that your list is made, decide to change! Making the decision to clear out these old habits that aren't serving you is the first step to make space for the new ingredients you wish to add to your life. You cannot add wonderful new ingredients if your life is already filled with junk and clutter.
There are many other things I am discovering about myself simply because I am now open to new experiences. Please open your mind and heart, be willing to learn and grow, as that will be a key ingredient that helps gather other ingredients that will make your life sweet enough. Imagine if you had never tasted chocolate because it was just “weird” or “yucky.” Think about the glorious sweet taste you’d be missing!
To contact me on Facebook type in my name - Sherry Wilsher - or email me directly at Sherry@sherrywilsher.com I look forward to connecting with you.
Thank you for visiting today and I hope to see you again next time as I plan to keep the recipe designing process going by offering suggestions on finding your perfect stabilizer: BALANCE!
Looking forward to sharing CAKE with the world! Happy 2013!
Let’s get baking - Bon Appetite,
Friday, January 4, 2013
In case you are a new friend, let me introduce myself and tell you what the CAKE life is all about. I am Sherry Wilsher and my book “CAKE...A Savvy Gal’s Guide to the Sweet Life” was published recently and getting rave reviews! I am so proud. In my book, and through these postings, my goal is to help you create a recipe for your own best CAKE life, with or without frosting (and we will talk a lot about frosting in the future). For now, just know that with the right ingredients, cake can be delicious without frosting, just as your life can be sweet without a significant other.
There! I said it! Yes, you can be happy without a partner. In fact, to be happy WITH one, you must first learn to be happy without one. I am proof positive that it is possible. More on that later too. But for now, let’s just be clear – before hooking up or getting heavily involved with your perfect partner, it’s a good idea to take some much-needed time to rediscover who you are as an individual, and what you want in a relationship. And not just what you want, but what you need – what will taste good and be healthy for you for years to come.
So often, when we jump heart-first into a relationship and it ends for whatever reason. Only then, when we are once again alone, do we realize that we have somehow developed the identity of ourselves as that person’s spouse, other half, etc. We have stopped being ourselves – we've become half of a couple. And sometimes, unfortunately, the lesser half.
CAKE LIFE ALERT: Part of something is never better than all of something. Be all of yourself, All One as opposed to Alone – be all you can be, and only then will you enter into a relationship as a strong, independent, spicy partner.
For many authors, the publication of their book is the much-anticipated end of the process. That is not the case with CAKE. Getting the book into the hands of readers is just the beginning for me. I am on a mission to help women & men become strong, independent, and self-fulfilled. Will you come along on the journey with me?
Of course, I want you to read the book. But I would also love to have your comments, your friendship, and hear your stories of personal tragedy, triumph, heartbreak, or happiness. Those are all vital ingredients in life’s recipe! No one is immune from difficulty, but neither is anyone doomed to failure or unhappiness.
Do you seem to always find yourself jumping into another relationship quickly, after just ending one? Especially without taking the time to fully be true to yourself and what you really want? You are not alone. We tend to try and fill the vacancy with another body, not even taking into consideration that we are still identifying ourselves as the ex of someone else! Sure, you may be attracted to another person, however once that initial attraction fades, the feelings of the past will creep up and eventually take over and the new relationship becomes strained. Most of the time the replacement relationship fails, leaving you feeling even more broken and in the unwanted position of starting over again. When this happens often enough, there are so many ex’s in one’s mind, that your mind will crave that much needed break CAKE speaks about.
I encourage you, if you are in a place of feeling lost, unhappy, incomplete, to join my CAKE friends. Subscribe to my channel and my blog. I will see to it that together we create a sweet satisfying life that is sweet enough to enjoy without the frosting of a mate. And even if it’s frosting you wish for, when the recipe is right, you will attract the perfect frosting for your cake. Why am I so sure of this?
Because remember: The Law of Attraction says that Like Attracts Like… Birds of a feather flock together…. With this knowledge, you will never settle for second best! Be the best you can be and your equal – the perfect frosting to enhance your cake - will be drawn to you!
Looking forward to sharing CAKE with the world! Happy 2013!
Let’s get baking - Bon Appetite,
P.S. – Next time we will be talking about ... Cleaning the Kitchen, (mind) before we start the recipe design.